To my friends:
I wrote this in case I went and died before we could talk face to face. I don't have any plans on dying, but you know how plans can be.
I'd like to first ask for your forgiveness. For the little things and the big things. I hope you will forgive me. I hope you will pray for me too.
The older I get, it seems, the less I know. This is common, I've read, which is kind of nice. What's less common, I think, is admitting you was wrong, which I was. Which isn't to say that I ain't now, just that I was then. Hence them prayers.
And so it ain't for nothing, I'll try to tell you the things I learned from my mistakes. And with the Queen's proper English, no less, so even the educated can understand:
The first thing is that God is God. It has to be first thing, because if it is a thing, it's a fairly singular thing, and if you say, "It ain't a thing," or "It isn't a thing", then there you go: I was full of shit from the start; The end. There's no sense in trying to reason about it.
The second thing is that I am not God. I'm sure that seems obvious to you, but it's been a real breakthrough for me.
The third thing is what to be when you grow up. Simple is a nice goal, I believe.
The fourth thing is the emptiness inside. It's been said before, but it's worth repeating: You can try to fill it with thrills, or things, or words. But if you ever tried filling it like that, you know. I'm not trying to discount the funness of these drugs, believe me, I'm just reminding you of the feeling when they're gone and you're not.
The fifth thing is that being right isn't the same as doing right. Sometimes you got to be wrong to do right. Sometimes you got to do nothing to get something done. And that's a doggone mystery.
The sixth thing is that being married is nice, I think, because I'm learning to put someone else before myself. Then maybe I can have some kids and put them before myself too. And then if I can do that, maybe I can starting putting everyone before myself and have some peace.
But it's a process, you know.